


This Isn't You

by heh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Eren is a kind soul who is concerned about Levi's wellbeing, KEITH IS NOT KEITH SHADIS BTW, Levi's Life is a living hell, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, cnt go without the angst! :'), hahahaha, i almost forgot abt the angst, i'll add more as the story progresses, please help my baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7503666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heh/pseuds/heh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi only has his boyfriend, Keith, to rely on for the roof over his head and food on his plate. </p><p>Keith doesn't let him do anything, he controls his life. </p><p>What happens when Levi can't stop thinking about the bright-eyed brat he often meets at the supermarket who can't seem to stop worrying about Levi's fresh bruises?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't You

It has always been the same, repetitive routine that defines the life I lead now. It was always to wake up at 6am sharp, take a quick shower, being careful not waste Keith's hot water. Then prepare breakfast for Keith, and wake Keith up.

From that point onwards, Keith will either ignore my existence like always, or he will decide to change my routine up a little. This morning, he gives me a severe beating for a mistake I should not have made. He spits out his toast with a disgusted expression. Looking as if he had just swallowed sour, rotten egg. 

It felt like a bucket of ice, cold water had fell over my head when I looked over at his breakfast. I should have noticed that his toast was a little more burnt than usual, and that I didn't spread on enough jam. First comes a slap to the face, then he stands up and proceeds to knee me in my abdomen. When I had collapsed on the cold, hard floor to my knees like how he had wanted, he pulls harshly on my hair. I felt so sorry. I should not have made this mistake. I wanted to apologise repeatedly, beg for his forgiveness. But Keith doesn't like me speaking when I'm receiving a beating. He would tell me to shut the fuck up, while giving me a few more punches. 

He pulls me up by my arm and hair to scream in my face. "You have been making my breakfast for how many years now, hm? How could you not know how i like my toast? Are you fucking stupid?!"

Then comes a few more slaps to my face, together with punches to my already bruising abdomen. I drop to the ground, folding over in half to try to protect myself.

Please stop. I'm sorry. 

He lets out a sigh, as if he had just heard my pleas for mercy, releases my arm, sits down and continue to eat his breakfast.

"You know I love you Levi, but you know that I have to punish you for the wrongs you do too. For now, get the fuck out of my sight before I mark up that pretty little face of yours even more." 

I did not need to be told twice. Keith was so kind to me sometimes, I knew better than to question his act of mercy so I immediately rose up on wobbly legs and rushed to the bathroom. I look into the mirror at the tired expression on my face. The beatings happen at least once a day, Keith being observant enough to find some fault in the things I do. Hopefully, that beating just now would be the last one today. 

The red handprints and swelling on my face would disappear after putting on some ice. Nobody could see the bruises on my abdomen with my clothes covering them. The bruising that was on my arm could be covered up with long sleeves shirts. 

No one would notice. 

I am fine.

-

After ten minutes of staring into my defeated eyes in the mirror, I head outside to check if Keith has left for work. 

He has. 

I was supposed to get groceries today. I'm glad that he has left some money on the table for me to do so. 

I grab the money, changed into more presentable clothing and left the apartment. 

I do not own a car. Keith would drive us to wherever we need to go. Usually it would be parties or events that Keith brings me to as arm candy, but other than that, i travel by foot.

He had once told me i don't need to get a license or a car. He said he would drive me to wherever i wanted to go. But, i fucked up many things and i have now lost that privilege. Now it's too late for me to even attempt to get a driving license since he supervises my every move. He doesn't like me talking to strangers. I tried to go sign up for lessons outside secretly, but he had found out and beat me up till i was bedridden for two days. If i had left the house without seeking his permission beforehand, he would find me and drag me home. By the end of the day, my hips and ass would be sore, with the addition of bruises all over my face and body. I would be fucking lucky if i wasn't bloody by then. Blood is a bitch to wash off. And I would probably take more than a few days to recover from open wounds like that. I wasn't about to pull that kind of stunt again. 

It took me a few months to learn that lesson. Now, i'm Keith's loyal companion, following his orders strictly without question. And though i say 'companion', i'm sure Keith just thinks of me as his pet. But that's okay. He's my only hope in surviving in this society of fucked up people. 

Keith helped me when i had nowhere to go. He gave me a place to call home, and food on my plate. My family is dead and Keith is the only person i can rely on. Without Keith, i would be homeless and roaming the streets, i would be forever in debt to him for what he has done for me. I would accept any punishment he gives me, because i know i deserve it.

I shake these depressing thoughts out of my head and prepare to head to the supermarket. I put on my large, black hoodie on my body, and slip on my black ankle boots. I grab the house keys and head out. Since it's a nice day out, and i wanted to clear my head a little, i decide to walk through the park. Though the route is longer, it gives me the chance to forget about the ugly life i lead now and allows me to get distracted by the beauty of nature. 

Birds chirping, children laughing. The air is crisp and fresh, unlike the air at home, which is often suffocating with Keith at home, which causes me to choke up in fear sometimes. But it's okay, it's my fault that i'm terrified of him all the time. And i should be, it's what he wants, to ensure that i know my place, and would not go overboard with my actions like i did last time. 

After fifteen minutes of walking through the park feeling all gloomy, i finally reach the supermarket. That walk through the park to 'clear my head' wasn't that effective after all. There's not much people in the supermarket today. I take my time choosing suitable groceries to prepare dishes that Keith would enjoy.

-

As i move to place a few apples in my basket, my throbbing shoulder, caused by Keith's earlier beating, gives out, all while sending dull pain signals to my brain. 

The apples drop and tumble onto the floor with small thuds. I bend down to pick them up.

As i was about to reach for those apples, another pair of hands joins me. Eventually, all five apples are back in my basket. 

I stand up to thank the stranger who just helped me, and was greeted with bright caribbean green eyes. 

"Are you alright? Is your shoulder okay? Why is your face bruised? Did you get into a fight?" Questions asked in a soft yet husky voice flowed out of the concerned man with the bright green eyes. 

What am i doing? This was not okay. What would Keith do to me if he had found out that i am talking to a complete stranger right now? The last time this happened, he --No, i must not talk to him. 

I give green eyes a small nod of thanks and started to walk away from him. However, he caught my arm, forcing me to turn back to face him. I let out an uncontrollable yelp of pain at the contact. Keith had gripped my right arm so tightly this morning that there's a sore bruise right at the area where the bright eyed man grabbed. 

Bright green eyes immediately lets go of me. "Shit. I'm sorry! Did i hurt you?" 

Reluctantly, i look up to face him. "I'm okay."

"What happened to your face? You look like someone had punched you a bunch of times."

He has no filter. 

"I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me, i need to get going." I say, feeling a little irritated at this point. 

"Hold on a second. Please." He reaches into his backpack, pulling out a small notebook and a pen. He tears off a page and starts scribbling on it.

"Here! That's my name and number. Please call me if you have any problems. I'll be glad to listen."

"Do you give your number to anybody you meet on the streets, Jaeger?" I ask after taking a peek at his name.

He looks down and blushes. "No! You just look like you need help..."

My eyes narrow into slits. I feel anger bubbling in me. Help? Why the fuck do i need help? Because of the bruises? Keith's doing me a huge favour by helping me, he has the right to hit me. And it was also due to my own mistakes, i deserved it. Keith doesn't hit me without reason. What the fuck does this bright eyed kid think he's spewing out of this mouth?

"I don't need anyone's fucking help, especially from brats who like to interfere with strangers' lives." I spat.

"I-I'm sorry." He stutters after hearing my harsh words and holds up both of his hands in a surrendering gesture.

I crush the piece of paper in my hands and throw it in his direction. It bounces softly off his chest. Not wanting to deal with this any longer, i turn away from the brat with an annoyed huff and walk away towards the cashier. 

After paying for my groceries, which costs around $30, i promptly collected my bags and headed out of the supermarket. Seeing the gloomy, dark sky, i concluded that it was probably going to rain. Damn, the weather was so nice just an hour ago too. How unpredictable, just like Keith. I pick up my pace and speed-walk in the direction of home. 

 

-

When i reached home after the hastened ten minute walk, I put away the groceries immediately with minimal effort. I collapse onto our shared bed after taking a quick shower. I still had some free time left before i had to start doing my chores and making dinner, so i decide to take a short nap.

Darkness engulfs me. 

-

I was frozen in fear the entire time. He threw me onto my bed without warning and started to remove my clothes. Not knowing what was happening, i just watched in a daze as he starts to unzip his own pants.

Before i knew it, i was on all fours, face down on my bed, enduring the splitting pain on my bottom. I let out a scream.

That only rewarded me with his cotton t-shirt being stuffed into my mouth as a gag. I could not move nor shout for help. 

For what felt like an eternity, i just kept accepting his harsh and painful thrusts. My throat has gone hoarse with all the shouting that was muffled by the t-shirt. Eventually, hot liquid starts dripping down my thighs. 

"There. Levi, this will happen to you again if you don't obey me in the future, is that clear?" He pulls me up by my messed up raven hair so that i am kneeling on the bed. He pulls me up so that my back is to his chest. 

"I don't want you to speak a word about anything that just happened to anyone." He reaches a hand down to my crotch, the other hand thumbing over my nipples. I almost let out another muffled scream. 

"If i find out that you ever did, i will make sure you will get raped again. Be it by myself or by others. A few of my colleagues find your body pretty hot, would you want to let them have a go?" He whispered into my left ear. Terrified beyond belief, i just stared up at the ceiling as he starts to stroke my limp dick. I let out a pained whimper into my gag.

"Answer me!" He says in a stern voice whilst squeezing my slowly hardening dick painfully. With tears streaming down my face, i shake my head vehemently.

My orgasm hits me. And for the first time, it's painful, mostly due to the sorrow in my heart.

The monster whom i had thought was my loving boyfriend seemed satisfied with this, letting out a pleased hum. "That's my boy." He lets go of me to zip his pants up. I let out a few pained whimpers before collapsing onto my bed, too tired to move. He leaves my room to go back downstairs. 

I black out.

-

I wake up with a start. 

Why did those memories surface yet again in the form of nightmares?

It had been the first time Keith showed me how i should be acting around him. From that day onwards, i lived like a cowardly slave, feeling not worthy of him all the time, and too afraid that he might stick to his threat of letting his friends rape me.


End file.
